Gettin' Old

Last Christmas I posted the following poem and it was funny then.  Now that I'm "officially" a Senior myself it's even more humorous.  

Hope you get a laugh or two.

'Twas the  night before Christmas at Rock-Away Rest,
and all of us seniors were looking our best.
Our glasses, how sparkly, our wrinkles, how merry;
Our  punchbowl held prune juice plus three drops of sherry.

A bedsock was  taped to each walker, in hope
That Santa would bring us soft candy and soap.
We surely were lucky to be there with friends,
Secure in this residence  and in our Depends.

Our grandkids had sent us some Christmasy crafts,
Like angels in snowsuits and penguins on rafts.
The dental assistant had  borrowed our teeth,
And from them she'd crafted a holiday wreath.

The bed pans, so shiny, all stood in a row,
Reflecting our candle's  magnificent glow.
Our supper so festive -- the joy wouldn't stop --
Was  creamy warm oatmeal with sprinkles on top.

Our salad was Jell-O, so jiggly and great,
Then puree of fruitcake was spooned on each plate.
The social director then had us play games,
Like "Where Are You Living?"  and "What Are Your Names?"

Old Grandfather Looper was feeling his oats,
Proclaiming that reindeer were nothing but goats.
Our resident wand'rer  was tied to her chair,
In hopes that at bedtime she still would be  there.

Security lights on the new fallen snow
Made outdoors seem noon  to the old folks below.
Then out on the porch there arose quite a clatter
(But we are so deaf that it just didn't matter).

A strange little  fellow flew in through the door,
Then tripped on the sill and fell flat on  the floor.
'Twas just our director, all togged out in red.
He jiggled  and chuckled and patted each head.

We knew from the way that he strutted  and jived
Our social- security checks had arrived.
We sang -- how we  sang -- in our monotone croak,
Till the clock? tinkled out its soft  eight-p.m. stroke.

And soon we were snuggling deep in our beds.
While  nurses distributed nocturnal meds.
And so ends our Christmas at Rock-Away  Rest.
'fore long you'll be with us, We wish you the best!

Author  Unknown