You Might Be A Pastor If...

This morning I read this in Paul Heil's Gospel Greats weekly newsletter:

YOU MIGHT BE A PASTOR IF...

• You hesitate to tell people what you do for a living.
• You've ever dreamed you were preaching only to awaken and discover you were.
• You've ever wondered why people couldn't die at more appropriate times.
• You find yourself counting people at a sporting event.
• You're leading the church into the 21st century, but you don't know what you're preaching on Sunday.
• A church picnic is no picnic.
• You jiggle all the commode handles at the church before you leave.
• You've ever spoken for free and were worth every penny of it.
• People sleep while you're talking.
• Instead of getting "ticked off," you get "grieved in your spirit."
• You've ever been tempted to take an offering at a family reunion.
• You read sermons to your kids at night instead of bedtime stories.
• You'd rather talk to people with every head bowed and every eye closed.
• You've ever wanted to "lay hands" around a deacon's neck.
• You often feel like you're herding cats rather than shepherding sheep.
• Your greatest joys have been in the church.