Today we drove away from our Cavan home for the last time. Carol and I had gone in separate vehicles so we didn't get to talk about our feelings as we pulled away. Maybe that's a good thing! The pain was almost unbearable. I didn't want to talk to anybody for fear of hearing pat answers.Tonight was the year-end program at our children's Christian school. It was a great evening but I didn't want to be there. I didn't want to see anyone. Didn't want to talk. Just wanted to bury my head...and cry.
I'll be alright though. The sovereign God of the universe is also this pilgrim's heavenly Father and He chooses to draw me close and whisper "peace". What a tender, gracious Father to those who grieve the loss of things we deem important!
Tonight I feel like I'm slipping into the shadows. Even if I do, He will go with me there and bring me back into His glorious Light.
Thus...the following poem came easily this evening. Please pray for Carol and me. Carol is experiencing her own grief and loss. We perceive things differently, grieve in different ways but both feel the same pain. Thanks for praying, precious Pilgrim Pals.
SHADOWS
Darkness surrounds me
Discouragement buffets me
Despair is waiting just 'round the next bend,
Can't seem to shake it
Don't want to fake it
Slipping into the shadows
Where fear bares its teeth.
Nothing excites me
Everything frightens me
When will this cloudy sky turn into blue?
Frustrated, angry
Wondering...why me
Groping round in the shadows
God's hiding from me.
This is the heartcry
Of many who pass by
How can I ever escape from this pain?
Father can see you
Jesus will free you
From dark, fearful shadows and
Fill you with Light.
- David W. Fisher - June 16th, 2008
I lived in the same place (well, had my permanent residence there) for the first 24 years of my life, a home and location I loved, and then my parents moved into town, about 3 minutes away from our old home. It's been a few years, but I still miss that place ... So I feel for you, Pilgrim, but pray you are able to hold onto the many good memories while settling happily into your new home.
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